hyperaware of race and ethnicity
I grew up in NYC, where it was no rarity for my peers to be different from me. So much so that I never noticed whether someone was black or white or hispanic, or whether they also spoke Romanian, Italian, or Arabic. It wouldn’t be until years after my eurotrip that I realized I knew people from the places I had traveled.
Once, in middle school, a friend asked me if I wished I were white. I didn’t think anything of the question, or of being Asian, except for realizing that all of my friends were white (Russian, or Ashkenazi Jews, or Italian, or… many generations American). I said no. I was more self-conscious of things like having money and nice clothes.
I admit that I live in a bubble. When I was 20, I deleted social media and began to interact with the world only through my circle of people and interests. It was a world of yoga and travel and cooking. I had very curated experiences, and I was ignorant to almost everything that didn't affect me personally on a day-to-day basis. Yes, that meant I found out the news through talking to people (and no, I’m not particularly proud of it).
I’m experiencing culture shock being back in NYC. I have never been so aware of the different kinds of people here. For four months, people in Medellin gawked at me and asked me questions like, “Do you eat dogs?” and “What does your name sound like?” No one was trying to be rude. They were genuinely curious. But now when I walk down the street, I can only imagine how the same Colombians who spoke to me would look at the people I see, and how they would wonder.